Adoption Blog

Is Adoption Really That Big of a Deal?

As we’ve been researching adoption, we are finding that there is a lot of negative information out there.  Today we went to an adoption conference, and again found it to be more negative than we would have liked.  I also feel that it was much more negative than necessary.  It seems that the books and speakers were focusing too much attention on the fact that the children are adopted.  Many of the issues that they were addressing exist in ALL children, not just those who are adopted.  I do understand that there are some issues that exist only with children who are adopted, however not every piece of their lives need to revolve around the adoption.  Once we are living our lives as the parents of an adopted child, we may feel differently.  However, for now, I feel that it is necessary to focus on being good parents, and not focus on being good adoptive parents.  We do plan to speak openly in our home about adoption, but do not plan to blame every challenge that our child has on his/her adoption.  

One piece of the workshop that I did find interesting, was a panel with adult adoptees.  This session had much less negativity, and was very helpful.  The panelists had many useful things to share in regards to their relationships with their adoptive parents and other members of their families.  It was helpful to leave the conference on a positive note.  

Going forward, I will continue to do research, and read books on the topic of adoption.  However, I will make sure I am more selective in the books that I choose to ensure that they fit with our parenting philosophies.

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